March 5, 2014

David Vs Goliath

This was a lesson we learnt when we were kids, getting all excited and worked up about how a small guy takes on a big dude and slams him!! Isn't it the kind of thing every body dreams off? Getting on to a big stage... taking on a big challenge/ guy ... beating the odds... emerging the champ... taking the center stage n hogging the limelight... ohh yeah play a "hero" too if situation permits!! Everyone out there would have had a fantasy of say -- batting out an over to hit the winning run, saving a damsel in distress, waltzing across a dance floor with your 'crush' in your arms, flooring a lady you admire from a distance, being the center of attraction, and racing away on a bike/ car amongst few others.

It was a decently cold winter day and, yours sincerely here was riding on his bike on the way to office when an irritating honking noise caught his ears. A black Santro i20 was trying to cut its way through the decently heavy traffic and its driver was oblivious of the fact that even if he did HONKED the hardest anyone could on the planet, the traffic ahead of him wouldn't just jump sideways to let him through, kept up his game to the frustration of his fellow on-roaders. In no time the Santro was right behind me honking its guts out. I had nowhere to run what with a bus ahead of me, the divider to my right, traffic to my left and with the @$$#0!3 right behind me. With great difficulty I squeezed myself out of the position ahead of him and let him through. He zoomed away magically with the bus still ahead of him, I was left a bit perplexed.

With the traffic being a bit heavy, I spotted him & overtook him within 5mins, only to find the bugger "honking" madly within no time. This process got repeated 2 more times before it reached the crescendo. At Raidurgam junction, as the lights went green I was driving close to the divider trying to overtake a car ahead when this ass was right behind me yet again, darn that duffer. I try to give way to him and allow him to overtake from my right when he purposefully slams into my bike handle and cuts across almost tripping my bike. I got riled like hell and raced to catch him. I pull my bike ahead of his car making him to screech to a halt.

My dear friends the fun starts NOW!! I hope you remember the first para that talks about fantasising, that's what yours sincerely was trying to do. I wanted to grill that bugger and attain the (if the word exists) Hero feeling! I stop in front of the car, lift the visor and start throwing abuses at him. And, that’s when the driver steps out. And OFF goes my speech, my throat dried up and a gentle shiver travels through my spine. The respectful driver turns out to be a giant, may be 6'2" around 120Kilos and to drive me nuts was pitch black!! By the time I could take a deep breath, the David in me scampered all the way to Israel I guess!! The towering personality starts moving threateningly towards me and I am rooted at the same spot, out of stubborn guts?? Naaah, rather because of the fright and I lose the sense of mobility. Crazily I start admiring his act of throwing abuses as it seemed to be much effective than my nimble efforts.

He’s within one arm distance and his dhai kilo ka haath could have slayed me like a fly with a swipe, but I don’t bulge at this moment due the courage I was able to find in the farthest & deepest corner of my heart I had never ever visited (David starts his visa process in Israel). I gather my guts and start abusing him…meekly instead. You see having to scream with your helmet on and talk to someone who seems to be talking to you from second floor is quite difficult. This confrontation causes a small jam right next to a traffic cop’s stand, who seemed to think the time is ripe to step in after 5mins. Seeing the cop come the David in me catches the imaginary Concord and arrives in time. We both blurt out our version of the story. In between, just before the cop came this guys just pushed me back and I thought I would fly over my bike landing on the other side with a thud. Thankfully there were no such special effects and I am safe.

As we pour our complaints the traffic constable steps back a bit, notices the car number and becomes a bit wide eyed. I feared that this car might belong to some VIP and here I am about to get screwed. But the cop turns towards the driver and says- “You were the one who has been honking madly, driving rashly, bumping into cars and coming via City Center, Banjara Hills, FilmNagar route, right?” The driver dials down a lot from his aggressive stance and says yes. The cop turns towards me and says “వీడిని నాకు వదిలేయ్, అన్నగారు నాలుగు సిగ్నల్స్ బ్రేక్ చేసేడు, రెండు కార్లని గుద్దేడు అందులో ఒకటి మా CIకార్ అన్త... నేను చుసుకుంట వీడిని, నువ్వు లాగించు

Feeling a bit victorious, off having escaped without getting hit I clambered onto my bike and was about to whizz off, when the cop said – “Nee size chusukuni godava padara abbayi”. I wanted to tell him about the David Vs Goliath story, but felt it would be unwise to teach anything to someone who just saved my neck. Bhaad mein gaya David mein toh chala office!!


PB said...

quite funny and one of those fantasies of a hero came true. ;-) u wrote in such an animated way, enjoyed reading the whole blog.

Srikanth KV said...

Glad to knw u enjoyed it..wish the fantasies didn't materialise and allowed true sense to prevail for the "HERO" ;).Can I know who this is?