March 28, 2016

Why do we fight?

While I try to while away time sometimes I take a run down the memory lane to good old times... times long ago to label myself as innocent, which I presume I still am J J!! During the middle school, as is the case with everyone we have some people who are close to us and we tend to be pretty possessive over them. "He/ She is my friend!! My friend alone! You go pick someone else"...  "No you are NOT part of our gang, you can't play with us"...

Do you recollect such time when we had our own small gangs, if anyone wanted to be friends with those in YOUR gang, the rest would/ you would staunchly oppose? All this usually didn't carry an impact strong enough to ruin anyone... as you would label it now in simple terms as "being kiddish". Any difference between guys would be sorted through a tough measure of dialogue involving "Dude, you tell me, you are my friend or his?"....It was all peaceful, issues sorted through dialogue, rarely did fists fly. Try remembering such instances and a smile would definitely flash across your face on such memories. You were until then unspoilt by the evils/ paradigms of the society.

Now take a step forward... a few years ahead... You still have groups/ gangs of... Let’s say people (friends may be too generic). But, only this time around those groups are defined NOT by the simple facet of who is close to you, rather it’s the parameter that defines WHO, THAT person is. Yes, these groups are defined by the affiliations of race, colour, religion, caste, creed, region etc. Time has been swept off and you have grown having strong identity or affiliation to these attributes. You have unknowingly built strong bonds with these. You recognize yourselves with these and inherently built a strong loyalty/ passion. And, when these attributes are challenged your reactions are way different that when you were a kid. You will have physical violence and aggression answering the challenge, not dialogue instead.

This is what is the difference, as we grow we are supposed to be more mature, take a wider & sensible view of the situation. But, in actual as we grow our vision is narrowed as well as blurred by the bias towards the above mentioned virtues. When our bond with virtues becomes stronger beyond a point, we defend it more vociferously and in that moment when the emotions spill over, violence takes command.

This is where we are in the current world scenario. People identify and relate themselves with WHAT they believe defines them and that is NOT good.

Instead we should try painting all ourselves with the same brush of mankind (can't find the relevant quote by a famous person)... recognize the other individual as a human replete of all the tags of religion, region, race etc., believe that we just co-exist in this world with rather virtually bordered/ separated places... maybe this will allow us to desist from spewing venom a.k.a violence, brandishing a shield against all this rather than presenting it as the sword.

February 23, 2016


The theory of evolution quoted by Charles Darwin- "Survival of the fittest", was meant to define the key element of adaptation necessary to the changes taking place around and molding of the characteristics of a species towards meeting basic purpose of surviving. The animal kingdom did evolve, but few species got dropped in between. The plant kingdom did evolve, but a few species got dropped. The homo sapiens did evolve, but species of animal/ plant kingdom got annihilated. You see, we were the smart asses!!

Once the neighbouring kingdoms had been vanquished/ rather taken care of, like a true emperor, Homo sapiens turned towards their own in search of that victor's morale booster.

Like any kingdom, family or group, each individual in that band was allocated a task- a responsibility to fulfill the needs of the group of individuals by efficiently accomplishing the assigned duty. Thus, one set of people were tasked with raising cattle, one set for farming, one set for hunting, one set for making the weaponry, one set to worship their deities etc. etc. and ONE, usually an elder to run the whole set up. You getting a picture? Not yet. Ok. As a generation took over, the individuals "transferred" that knowledge within their family, to their wards. Then it was their next generation that handled that "task"/ "duty". As the ages went by, newer groups were discovered... new people were tasked with handling those duties... and they in turn passed it on to their wards.

This process got carried on for generations and got repeated over and over again. The individuals became adept at these due to generations of data and that duty became their "Identity" instead. They individuals now got referred to as- Cattle Grazers, Farmers, Warriors (Kshatriyas), Iron Smith, Brahmins (priest), Traders, Scavengers..... Rulers (kings) etc. The divide among the individuals widened as economics got introduced in between. The people tasked with menial tasks earned little, thus widening the gap to the prosperous individuals of other tasks. These identities over the ages translated into what we called castes. This has been "MY" general understanding of whatever history of the civilizations I had managed to read about.

Come the Modern age, social stigma got attached to the individuals depending on the tasks they were handling. Along with the economic divide and the power clouted by the powerful sections of the society these groups (I wouldn't want to refer to them as castes) got castigated, they were denied many a basic rights. There were many reformists who fought for the up-liftment of these under privileged- some chose the discussion medium & other preferred violence.

Let’s jump to post independent days India. Right through our Civics subject, we were taught about how our Constitution was formulated and how one Mr.BabaSaheb Ambedkar with the foresight or goodwill, thought that for uniform development of various segments of the society fragmented based on the age old discrimination would be able to get together to build a formidable society & great India. The very basic principle behind this amendment was to ensure that everyone is tagged along as the country progressed further. These adjustment (if they can be referred so) were meant last for a defined period and post that period- C E A S E to exist. But post-independence the situations changed, the people's mindset did the thinking of the people in Power. With great power comes.... greater greed/ want!

Let me bring to you my perspective of how things changed for various groups involved, because of this small act…. To follow in next post. We will in the end get to how Homo Sapiens vanquished their own kingdom.

February 14, 2016

Happy Valentine.. to a friend???

I was just thinking about all these years when I never wished you on the 14th of Feb.... ofcourse today is supposedly Valentine's day or rather perceived to be just for couples! Today morning when "MY" friend wished me & my wife on this day, I got reminded of a friendly advice from again MY friend... grow up.. be mature.. act your age!!

On thinking just a little beyond the obvious reason for celebrating today, one would realise that Valentine's Day is all about celebrating love, affection and a bond that holds two people together. What can be more special than the special bond of friendship that we share?

Friendship is all about understanding. It is all about forgiving. It is all about fighting and then finding it so hard to stay angry. Friends are those people, without whom life will never be the same. Friends don't break up with you for silly reasons, neither do they throw stupid tantrums. Moreover it is about loving unconditionally.

Who said Valentine's Day should only be for couples? Here's a special wish for THE special person in my life who has showered me with love, trust, admiration and never-ending support. Happy Valentine's Day my friend. I am in love with the bond of friendship that we share. Happy Valentine's Day to the dearest and nearest friend in my life!

I may not tell you everyday, but this Valentines day I want to remind you that you are still a star to me. A star, that I never ever want to lose...

P.S: This ain't attempting at buttering you 📣 .... and, I WILL find any & every reason just to reminisce our friendship! 

from your friend... 9500kms away!!

January 8, 2016


Every time you are in gym, your coach would be right beside you instructing you on- how to pace your cardio, how to lift the weights, and how synchronized the limb movements need to be for other exercise variants. One can observe for themselves when asked to do weights in a set of say 10-20, we try to rush through the set, in the belief that the faster we do better the chances we could complete it properly. The same applies to cardio (try to run fast to complete the distance) and exercise (do squats/ push-ups/ burpees faster). Your coach then gives you the sweet news, asks you to do say 75% of the set at one pace and rest at the slowest pace.

Once we try this, we realize how hard it is to actually finish the set. The amount of strain exerted on your muscles and more importantly your psyche is enormous. You would want to stop. You feel you can push no more. The pain is too much to bear. But, you learn later on that this percentage of effort is what that would shape you up, strengthen muscles and in fact built endurance. You can do with comfort more repetitions of the activity, run longer distances and difficult workouts too. A few weeks/ months of practice and you can see the results. You would need no further coaxing. You will strive to push harder to achieve next level. And, all along would admire the way your body's responding and THAT reflects in your beliefs too... in fewest of few cases.

Now, let’s change the scenario slightly, replace gym with life and workout regime with challenges or troubles or difficulties. For all practical purposes, we replicate our actions from gym in our life too. When confronted with a difficulty/ problem, we strive to rush through for a quick solution and in the absence of not achieving the desired result sulk out or give up. We try a few options, a few times (sometimes only once or twice) and then declare to ourselves that this is a pathetic situation with no feasible solution. That is often the dangerous phase of addressing the problem- post giving up.

Your mind would be addled quite a bit, thoughts running around in your mind as to why it couldn't be handled by you and sometimes the emotions become precariously placed- to tip over anytime. The problem could be on any of your fronts- office, home, friends or any kind of relationships too. It is basic human nature to ponder over unsolved problems and if they are related to you the mind is in a high drive mode. The inability to solve the challenge amicably could lead to display of a range of emotions all directed towards oneself- anger, despair, displeasure, resentment, disappointment, misery, sadness, self-pity everything! And as with the exercise bit, you would try to deal with it the wrong way. Imagine that you faced the problem at end of working hours, your next set of action is driving home but your mind is brimming with emotions. Seeking a faster solution (peace for yourself) few might consider revving up the engine and slicing through the traffic hoping that the adrenaline rush might put you at comfort.

The last bit isn’t advised as one might fail to notice the monstrous SUV’s coming headlong and sometimes smash into a vehicle injuring yourselves.

Let us take the coach's advice, just slow down the things, and learn to bear it to- better understand the situation & our ability to deal with it. Any problem thrown at us gives us an opportunity to test & hone our inherent skill of problem solving. Slowing things a bit gives us time to better focus our capability, improve our endurance level and more importantly an experience. Just like our muscle memory which adapts to the exercise routine and remembers the stress levels, our ability to keep composure in the face of challenge allows us to pull out relevant solutions and keep our mind stress free.

There’s no need to run away from troubles and screw it up, which could also be done by keeping the mind occupied to the extent that it hurts your career, personal life and infact even bodily harm. Though the emotion of sadness or despair might creep up in few cases, one needs to learn to be strong, however hard it might be.